Well, after all that's been said and done, I can tell you with certainty that yesterday I had my most intense experience yet. Trika occasionally offers workshops on various topics such as metaphysics, tantra, astrology, the art of dying, and femininity. When Sapna told us the next one would be femininity, I wasn't particularly interested and thought the other topics all sounded much more appealing. But then she described the workshop, talking about what topics would be covered and how it would unfold, and I thought, "I have to go to that". So I did. It was yesterday (Sunday - our day off) evening, scheduled from 3-6, but ended up lasting until 7:30. I'm not going to go into detail, because I could not possibly convey the intensity or emotions in a simple blog. But here's the jist of it.
Not really knowing exactly what we were in for, 12 women (some from Trika, some not) gathered in the yoga hall and sat in a circle with our teachers, Sapna and Irati. After the consecration to Durga (Goddess Durga is the mother of the universe and believed to be the power behind the work of creation, preservation, and destruction of the world. Since time immemorial she has been worshipped as the supreme power of the Supreme Being), Sapna gave a talk on the different stages of femininity: the little girl, the teenager, the woman, the mother, the goddess. For each of these stages, after having been given info and specific instructions, we were told to draw (or write) what came to mind, then share. I won't go into specifics here, but I can tell you that as the sharing began, women who had walked in looking solid as stone became incredibly vulnerable, letting go of fear, pain and tears. For me, this happened when we got the woman stage, and my emotions arose in relation to my mother (whom I lost to breast cancer 8 years ago, for those who may not know). Again, for the details of this part, I'll share with some of you in person. The instruction, drawing, writing, and sharing for each stage lasted about 3 hours, and was followed by Irati's dance segment. Once we had opened the floodgates of feelings and tears, letting go of many things that we were painfully holding onto, it was time to dance. For more than an hour straight. But let me tell you, having danced for 16 years of my life, I have never danced like this. This part of the workshop, like the first part, was very specifically designed and organized. It wasn't just, Ok, now dance. Again, the dancing and accompanying music was separated into the 5 stages of femininity, and there's still much more to it that I'll keep for sharing in personal conversations. As I said before, strong emotions relating to my mother arose during part 1, and they didn't end there. As we moved through part 2, I held her hand, I hugged her, I walked with her, I cried with her, and I danced with her. It was magical, it was incredible, it was beautiful. It was Joy.
Not really knowing exactly what we were in for, 12 women (some from Trika, some not) gathered in the yoga hall and sat in a circle with our teachers, Sapna and Irati. After the consecration to Durga (Goddess Durga is the mother of the universe and believed to be the power behind the work of creation, preservation, and destruction of the world. Since time immemorial she has been worshipped as the supreme power of the Supreme Being), Sapna gave a talk on the different stages of femininity: the little girl, the teenager, the woman, the mother, the goddess. For each of these stages, after having been given info and specific instructions, we were told to draw (or write) what came to mind, then share. I won't go into specifics here, but I can tell you that as the sharing began, women who had walked in looking solid as stone became incredibly vulnerable, letting go of fear, pain and tears. For me, this happened when we got the woman stage, and my emotions arose in relation to my mother (whom I lost to breast cancer 8 years ago, for those who may not know). Again, for the details of this part, I'll share with some of you in person. The instruction, drawing, writing, and sharing for each stage lasted about 3 hours, and was followed by Irati's dance segment. Once we had opened the floodgates of feelings and tears, letting go of many things that we were painfully holding onto, it was time to dance. For more than an hour straight. But let me tell you, having danced for 16 years of my life, I have never danced like this. This part of the workshop, like the first part, was very specifically designed and organized. It wasn't just, Ok, now dance. Again, the dancing and accompanying music was separated into the 5 stages of femininity, and there's still much more to it that I'll keep for sharing in personal conversations. As I said before, strong emotions relating to my mother arose during part 1, and they didn't end there. As we moved through part 2, I held her hand, I hugged her, I walked with her, I cried with her, and I danced with her. It was magical, it was incredible, it was beautiful. It was Joy.
Oh Erika, I'm so glad you found some Joy joy! A week ago B's younger bro. died of cancer, so we've been in the Toronto area for the funeral. His older brother died a few years ago of cancer. What can I say? xx J.
ReplyDeleteI love your Joy joy phrase!
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about Bruce's brother(s). My thoughts are with you.
With everything I've been learning here, part of my big plan for when I get back is to have a natural cancer treatment centre...
We'll see how the research goes...
xxx
Erika I saw your dad's comment but not mother. So I wanted to know about your mother.I came to know today. I wanted to ask that day when you were talking about "Barfee" But did not know.
ReplyDeleteI will say I lost my mother when I was 12.
Yes, my mom used to make burfee (her recipe book spelled it with a 'u') and we loved it. She would use it as icing on a delicious oatmeal cake. We often had that for our birthdays :)
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about the early loss of your mother. Was it also due to cancer?
Dear Erika, we are on the plane on our way back from Mexico to Salt Lake City and I am catching up on a couple of weeks of your blog posts. There are several kids crying on the plane...so when I read this post, I didn't feel too out of place when tears came to my eyes. Thank you for sharing a beautiful memory about your time with your Mom...and my sister!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but giggle at this post... you not feeling out of place because all the kids were crying :) I'm glad the description brought beauty to your mind.
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